Lockdown and Anxiety

In 2019, I had a severe mental health crisis, and spent most of the year getting back on my feet. Before lockdown, I was struggling along, but coping, and glad to be able to do more. There were some days I was anxious about leaving the house, but they were getting fewer and fewer.

I've been in lockdown following the rules strictly since mid-March, with my two housemates and our two cats. My housemates are very helpful with my anxiety, and understand that my capacity changes rapidly and have learnt how to look after me when I have a panic attack coming on without my asking for help. I barely leave the house, and when I do, there's an edge of uncertainty. All of the energy and brain space that I've gained from not having to walk through central Oxford every day has been replaced by trying to understand the current situation, anxiety about my friends and family, and overwhelm. There's not been the space for me to process things differently. I feel guilty for my capacity with work being so low, but grateful to still have a job at all.

My main goal throughout this pandemic is to just keep my head above water, and survive it.

For the future, please learn. Please be better prepared. Have a better communications strategy.

2020-06 See all items with this value

Abingdon Road, Oxford

Aym Phoenix Maidment

Watching the sun rise with my cats after a sleepless night